New Mexico hates dogs!

What's a Punkin' Head to do????

Sign reads "To Pet Exercise Area" which points to "Poisonous Snakes and Insects Inhabit This Area."  And, yes, that is the lovely, inviting blank pet area with only gravel rocks.

We got the message and kept movin' on ... but not before I used the facilities...a nice gentleman at the reststop who worked cleaning it up for Apex Cleaning Services (I think that was what his bright yellow shirt said) watched Max for me...before we left, the cleaning guy said that this rest stop would close Oct 19...we were there on my b'day - Oct 13...I'm still accepting gifts, if you missed it.

Larry the Cat

The Max and I are now in Austin on a gig.   We are staying with our hosts, The Callans, which includes Larry the Cat and their poodle Po-Po (aka Napoleon). 

Larry likes Max's dog food.  Max likes Po-Po's food and Po-Po likes Max's food...of course, everyone else's food makes them sick!  So, I spend mealtime standing between the animals to make sure they eat their own food.

After spending the days on food patrol, I went to go take out my contacts and brush my teeth...apparently, Larry also likes to drink from running water and was curious about my toothbrush...ummm, delightful...

Exploring before we get going!

After hiking the Wildwood Park on numerous occasions and passing a sign and steep stairs to the "Indian Cave," Max and I -- and our trusty friend, Maridel -- finally braved the tall steep climb into the creepy, dark cave...

...please note that the exit is a mere 20 feet away and is just one long, dark hallway...

...poo...

We had passed it up many times, because from down below it looked like it went way back...it was sooo steep, that we were afraid we'd get stuck or hurt and no one would find us...so we waited until we had our trusty companion, Maridel, who could call 911 if we met a rattler or a coyote (both spotted in the park before)...but we were slightly red faced (and not from the heat) to have our friend there to debunk the myth of the Indian Cave in Wildwood Park in Thousand Oaks, CA.

But, hey, Max has run up there a couple of times before without me...he never mentioned the size and lack of scariness...he only chased out lizards and barked at something in the shadows, which added to the mystique...I guess he has picked up some of my PR skills over the past few years.

Well, we had to check it out before we left TO on our trek to Texas...the hike was a week ago Sunday, and we feared it may be our last trip there...today we started our 3-day, post-Columbus Day drive...we hope to make it at least to Phoenix...wish us luck! 

Oh, and try to keep track of the time changes :)

Bad Max!

I leave him alone ONE MINUTE with the doggie mermaid and this is what happens????

...ugh...teenagers...

Funny Caption Contest - Gracie #1

Ok, since the last contest was soooo much fun, we've decided to do it again with Max's friend, Gracie, as the subject...lets keep it clean, folks!

Funny Caption Contest - Max #1

Ok...you win nothing but an exclusive gig on the Adventures with The Max blog and my Facebook page that will tout your witty writing...sorta like The New Yorker Mag, but with a slightly smaller readership.

Monkey Mutt!

It all started at our Port Royal pad when Max saw a squirrel dart up a tree with a low-hanging branch...he found that he could jump on the branch and hang on...eventually, he got his back foot up!

Then we moved to CA and the backyard has a similar branch, but it's just a bit too high...and the squirrels, lizards and black hissing birds have figured it out and taunted Max by sunning themselves just out of his reach.

Well NOW Max has found a tree that grows slanted in our nearby Wildwood Park and finally got to climb up it!

Yeah, Max!!!!

The Tail is Back!

Yeah!  Max's happy tail is back and in action:

 

"Seriously, I think I saw a squirrel (or bird or lizard or....) all the way up there!"

The vet I went to (of course, in CA, he's a "holistic" vet) said that spraining one's tail -- whether a person or a canine -- can hurt as it heals and suggested using S.O.D. or Superoxide dismutases....try it at your own risk... 

Wagged to Death!

Ever heard of a dog having so much fun that he wagged his tail to death? That's what Max did Saturday! Seriously!

We went to a new doggie beach near Carpinteria, CA -- Summerland is the cute town and the beach is Lookout Point -- and Max went bonkers playing with Gracie, his roommate, and a bunch of new friends...the water was freezing, but this did not stop Max from running for an hour and digging holes in the sand and chasing the waves! Nor did he hesitate to play due to the ever-present scent of gasoline from the offshore drilling rigs.

After a morning of fun, Max then went straight to Petco for a professional cleaning...however, late in the evening, we noticed that his tail was doing a funky u-turn...after much googling, we found that he must have "cold water tail" "limp tail" or "dead tail"? Funny how most websites quote vets as saying it's fairly common yet it is not really taught in vet school, but is something passed along amongst the professionals.

Apparently, it's caused by an over-exertion of the tail (toooo much fun!) and exposure to cold water...did I mention that the water on the beach today was freeeezing???

 Note the funky u-turn and his droopy tail (top) from Saturday night and compare to the dirty beach dog photo (bottom)  from earlier in the day!

But, I suppose, there are worse ways to injure yourself...right Max?

Let's hope the tail pops up, back into place soon!

(Don't tell Max, but he's getting his shots Monday morning, so we'll be at the vet's anyway...)

Post Birthday Review

Thanks to everyone for your birthday wishes!

Max had a great time, and here are pics for those of you who missed it:



Max started partying at the Lazy Dog Cafe in Thousand Oaks, CA, with his buddies Linda and Gracie.



Here's his doggy birthday cake -- Canned duck/potato with kibble icing and four duck breast candles.



Ok, that may sound gross to you, but Max loved it...it was gone in sixty seconds :)

Happy Birthday, Max!

Max -- aka The Maxinator, aka maxie, Maxie, MAXIE!, aka Punkin' Pie, aka My Sweety Sweety -- turns four today!

That's 28 in dog years, for those of you who are counting...we've had the talk about contributing to the household, but it's a hard sell when no one else is...

Giving Back to the World

Upon reflection, Max has decided that he wants to give back to the world that has blessed him these past almost four years. He wanted to get back to basics and what is more basic than dirt? Therefore, Max has decided to join the green movement.

As proof of his commitment, Max helped me plant some new tomato plants. See below for actual proof that Max has a HANDS ON commitment. He is not relying on his people to do the dirty work...any more.


Before: Max digs hole -- After: Tomato plant is safely in its new home

For those who would criticize that Max did not actually move said tomato plant into the hole, please note that dogs do not have opposable thumbs and, therefore, are incapable of finishing the job...and I was happy to help!

We also planted -- in pots -- 2 additional cherry tomato plants, 3 large tomato plants, 2 bell pepper plants (one green, one yellow), a jalapeno plant and an eggplant plant (or is that "plant" redundant?)...we have already harvested a few larger tomatoes and jalapenos...yummm....

Lovin' Laguna!

Max made his first trek to Casa del Sena in lovely Laguna Beach, CA. He thought I was lying when I said I knew someone who lived RIGHT ON THE BEACH! Seriously, great views, great accommodations and fun things to do all day.

He now promises to believe me - most of the time - in the future.



Max sez, "Serioulsy? People live here?"


Max discusses moving in permanently with Sena of Casa del Sena fame. Sena appears skeptical, but open to negotiations.


Max decides to let Sena sleep on it. Max sez: This bed is RIGHT BY THE DOOR to the veranda and the DOOR WAS OPEN ALL NIGHT! Max could walk in, then out, in, then out, in, then out...well into the wee hours of the morning.


The next morning, we got up bright and early to run on the beach before the 8a curfew for dogs...not early ENOUGH for the Max! Way early for the dog walker.


Max sez: Ok, ok, take the pic (thanks to new friends from AUSTIN, TX), we've only got a few minutes of beach time!


OMIGOSH! After a long walk on the beach, in the waves and being hosed down, dried off and another long walk on the sidewalks, I got breakfast in bed with a view...Yeah :)

We are sooooo coming back!

Destination: Paradise (Falls)

For those of you who have been following our blog and our treks into the nearby Wildwood Park may not be aware of our on-going search for Paradise Falls...we see the signs, we hike the path and after dozens of unsuccessful attempts -- and even finding other very nice, beautiful falls -- we have finally came upon the elusive Paradise Falls!


On the way over the falls!

At the top of the falls (not sure if you can see the ducks sunning on the rock to the left--Max saw them!), just as the stream goes over the edge.


We're almost there -- I can see the falls!

Could we be so lucky -- are there stairs down to the bottom of the falls? We've been walking up and down and up and down hiking paths for an hour following the signs. Could it be that the gods (aka "state forestry/park workers") have built us stairs for the final trek as a reward for our patience?


Ta-dah!

Yeah! We made it to the bottom...the cool water hits the pool at the bottom -- someone was disappointed that no ducks flew down the shoot.

It was well worth the hike...until I realized that we were now an hour away from getting OUT of the park...as we began our trek back up, I decided to look at my park map with all of its folds and despite the fact that I am, well, "directionally challenged."

Bottom line: It took us 20 minutes to get out.

Back on Track!

Thanks to all of our fans who have prayed for Max's recovery and sent us their well-wishes. Keep the cards and letters and blog/Facebook comments coming!

As you can see, Max is taking his first steps back to full recovery. He is frolicking in the green, green grass of home...aka SoCal or Southern California for you east coasters. Max is taking time out to appreciate the small things in life, to reflect on his past and decide what kind of Pupster he wants to be.



Max turns four in a few weeks and realizes he is not getting any younger...

...though he clearly feels like he is :)

Rehab -- CA Style

Max has asked me to apologize to all of his fans for his absence from Adventures with The Max. When the following photo went viral after being published on Smoking Gun and airing on TMZ, Max finally had to admit to his addiction to wet canned food and trashy treats. We are embarrassed to report that he was actually licking the floor for food crumbs.




He has just gotten out of rehab where he was put back on dry kibble and his treats limited to dried duck breast and glucosamine treats for his back. We will be monitoring his glucosamine treats now that we are aware of his addictive personality. Research shows that these treats are necessary for the healthy back of a pup with a dachshund back.

We ask that everyone grant Max his privacy as he begins his new, healthier lifestyle outside of the rehab facility. We will keep you apprised of his progress and thank you for your prayers during this difficult time.

Pup-erazzi!

Max would like to apologize for the long delay since last we blogged. It turns out that it only takes a few nasty comments on TMZ and other blogs to alert the Pup-erazzi to an easy paycheck.

It all started with the sighting of Max with (and I quote) "two bitches." These two nice lady friends were hanging with the Max for an innocent playdate -- in the 'burbs no less, NOT in Hollywood, as erroneously reported by the tabloids.


Lacey relaxes in the sun while Grace and Max play a nice game of tug-o-war.

Lacey and Grace have released the following statement and hope that Max's fans will respect their privacy because they did not choose this life. They were dragged into it by the irresponsible media.

"We are proud to call Max our friend, and refuse to abandon him his time of need. We want to clarify that we are both 'fixed' and, therefore, are not female dogs in heat as previously reported. We have the medical records to prove it."

In an attempt to clear his head and pull attention away from his residence, Max decided to hike on over to Wildwood Park, less than a mile from his home. The media -- especially the camera folks -- would have a hard time following Max in the heat and the treacherous paths.


Max clears his head in Wildwood park, looking back at "the edge of civilization" that is a canyon away from him now.

The break would be short-lived. Lacey and Grace would have a mere afternoon of relaxation before the Pup-erazzi returned, trying to get that one shot that could humiliate your friend and theirs -- Max.


Lacey and Grace bark at the Pup-erazzi, urging them to leave.

We had all hoped that the Michael Jackson debacle would keep the leeches away, but they were merely distracted for a few weeks. They are back.

I hope Max can handle the pressure.

Blasphemy!

More than one person has written in insinuating that our absence from the blog was due to Max having gone Hollywood and thus forgetting all of the little people who made him who he is today.

To prove that this is in NO WAY true and the tabloids SHOULD NOT BE BELIEVED, Max has decided to chew up the symbol of all that is wrong in tinsel town. Good-bye, movie star white sunglasses!




Please rest assured that our absence was due in full to technical difficulties resulting from the spillage of a cocktail...umm...the spillage of a mineral water onto the owner's beloved MacBook...it took almost three days (it coincided with the launch of the much-coveted iPhone 3G S) to receive the diagnosis that the repairs would cost just 2-3 hundred bucks less than a brand new MacBook Pro with more power and a more durable (read here: can withstand a little sprinkle or two before morphing into a lava-lamp-like structure) body.

We have now upgraded and plan to continue to work hard to meet the demand of our ever-growing fan base.

Thanks to all of you, and as they say here in LA: Love you, mean it.

Max's new hobby

Max is lovin' our new pad north of LA. He has a new friend, Gracie, a 9-year-old Jack Russell Terrier, plus bunny rabbits running all over the backyard for them to chase, AND a bird in a cage RIGHT IN THE HOUSE!

Note Max's new hobby -- bird watching:



Seriously, he can lay there for hours and watch Homer, the cockatiel eat, walk, peck, you name it...note the gate and the vacuum cleaner blocking the table on both sides...Max has been known to stand on his back paws to get closer and to totter the table the bird's cage is sitting on.

Max sez: "Jackpot!"

Getting Gas

Just thought I give a shout out to Chris Stavinoha who used to tell his wife, Katie, to fill up the car when the tank hit a half tank. Katie and I would P-shaw this advice...I often tempt fated by driving until the light comes on.

WELL, once I left Lubbock, TX, (in fact it sort of started between Fort Worth and Lubbock), gas stations noticeable thinned out...the East Coast and the area of Texas/Oklahoma where I grew up, all have gas stations ever mile or so...but here -- WITHOUT WARNING -- you can go as much as 100 miles without a gas station!

When driving up to our hotel near the Grand Canyon, my gas light came on (I really just wasn't paying attention to the car, but focusing on the landscape) and my heart pounded for about 5 minutes when I came up to a gas oasis -- charging $2.89/gallon (compared to $2.49/gal before) -- and filled up.

I've learned my lesson, Chris, and am now filling up pretty much anytime I see a station and my tank is down even just 1/4 (down to 3/4) tank, but I start looking at 1/2 a tank.

We got in!

Max and I made it inside the Grand Canyon National Park yesterday (Wed, June 10) and saw the canyon in all its glory. The news for the last 3 days has talked about the beginning of the monsoon which starts next week...apparently it can rain so hard that cars are swept away...they didn't say it outright, but I'm thinking the trails aren't too safe either!

So I'm happy that we came when we did.


Max stayed in the onsite kennel for the first part of the first day because dogs aren't allowed "under the rim"...so I braved it alone...


...though, I have to say that the Grand Canyon is NOT the best choice of vacation spots for someone with acrophobia (hey, I'm not afraid of heights, I'm afraid of falling from heights). I lasted approximately 5 minutes and 50 feet before my knees began to tremble and I had to go back up.

After taking a bus tour (dogs also not allowed on bus) to Hermit's Rest (did you know hermits were religious folks? Learned that from a young Spaniard who was visiting because the GC is in their history course because a Spaniard discovered it) and having lunch in the historic Bright Angel Lodge, I went to pick up Max for the rest of the day....and Max was a ROCK STAR with the little ladies.

On Grandview Trail, this little girl had to be pulled away by her parents! She told Max, "I can't stop petting you!"


This group of young girls was distracted from their parents photo shoot by Max's cuteness...their parents started in English, but quickly switched to Japanese (I think) to urge the girls stop petting and start posing on the edge of the Canyon...I have to say they were too close to the edge for me!


We eventually got away from the tot-erazzi and got on with the tour...Max soon spotted the Abert's squirrel and couldn't help but think this was the best place ever.



This morning, we are going to jump on the morning geology tour of the Grand Canyon before we hit the road for Thousand Oaks, which is our final destination...but it's 8 hours away, so we may stop somewhere in between...if we can find anything in between...looks like Needles, CA, may be an option.

Wish us luck!

Arid America

After a brutally HOT day in Lubbock, TX, Max and I moved on to Albuquerque, NM, which is in the desert and yet much cooler! We went to Old Town Albuquerque where we stopped off at the oldest Catholic church in the USA, the San Felipe de Neri Parish. We bought a Saint Francis of Assisi (patron saint of animals) medal for Max's collar, a Saint Christopher (patron saint of travelers) card for the car and a bracelet of saints for myself...all money (less than $5!) goes to help restore the church.


That's the church behind the Punkin' Head.

Today we left for the Grand Canyon and drove and drove and drove through flat land reminiscent of Georgia O'Keefe and other artists who have depicted the painted desert...very peaceful and lonely country...proof that the planet has plenty of room.


New Mexico/Arizona border and a bit of the vastness.

We arrived in Tucsayan, AZ, and went to our hotel just outside the South Rim of the Grand Canyon. Tomorrow, we go in!

More friends!

Max and I couldn't do this without all of our friends from DC to Texas. Thanks to everyone for making it possible and for such fun!


Robin, Jeb, Napolean and Phoebe Callan of Austin, TX


Max and Sammy at the Fort Worth home of Aunt Roberta and Uncle Bob...hosts to our family gatherings. (See future posts.)


Ruth and Corry Schiermeyer of Lubbock, TX with canine pals (aka "pack mates") Scout, Mia and Penny.

Thanks to Our Friends on the Road

As Max and I meander along the highways (and even gravel roads!) on our cross-country roadtrip, we are having fun with family and friends, new and old. Here are a few of them:


Kendyl Nitschke of Raleigh, NC


Gwen & Larry Brody of Freck, AR


Roger & Kay Branson of Edmond, OK


Katie, Chris & Lydia Stavinhoa of Houston, TX

We're off to Austin, now!

Eating Right on the Road?

Any tips to eating right while on the road? I've gained five pounds!!! Add that to the 10 I already need to lose and the picture ain't pretty!!! Note that all pics are of The Maxinator.

Here's some ideas:

1) Just buy small limeades during bathroom stops at Sonics.

2) Offer to cook for hosts when staying with family and friends.

3) Stop eating Mexican food for breakfast, lunch and dinner...though I have to say that my last lunch at Blue Goose Cantina in Plano (yummmy, though it was) did push me over my Mexican food limit...I think I finally sated that craving...well, maybe there's room for a Polvos b'fast while in Austin next week :)

My current B&B host, Carol Lanham, turned me on to the Flat Belly Diet which has some awesome recipes...but it requires grocery shopping, and having a kitchen...things hard to get on the road.

I've got to work something into my stops...I loved hiking all over the Biltmore Estates with my dog...and we had some good walks in Branson...Oh, and thanks also to Carol who got me to the gym twice this week where I did cardio AND weights...

Anyone know of good exercises for the hotel room or food that can be ordered or drive-thru choices? You know, a sort of practical driving "Eat This, Not That" sorta deal.

Going Country!

After binging on "the best chicken fried steak in the universe," Mexican food and burgers, I continued the journey back to my roots and bought some way cool cowgirl boots and shirts at Shepler's...Max, who is a native of Virginia, tried to relate.



I also bought some way cool shirts, two with western yokes and lovely enamel covered snaps (one gingham, the other sparkley party shirt), the other with lucky horseshoes...eat your heart out!



I can't wait to wear them under black suits :)